I don’t know if you
noticed
but I think there
is a crack
in my heart
I’ve tried so hard to
keep it
together
to not cave in
or let my guard
down
fear, forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to keep up
the barricades
just so I would
not feel
the pain
– my own,
or yours

I don’t know if you have
noticed
but I think there are
increasingly
cracks in the walls around
my heart
I’ve tried real hard to
keep it
together
keep the doors locked
the gates down
fear
forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to keep the walls
fierce and
proud
just so
I would not
see
the pain
– my own,
yours

I don’t know if you
noticed
but I think the walls
have started to  tilt
I’ve tried terribly hard to
keep it
together
my sense of self
fear
forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to hold on
just a little longer
to not surrender
ever
so I
would not have to
so I will not
feel
immersed
in an instant
eternal
connection
with you
with all that is

so I would not
come home to
infinite
love
for you, for self
for all that is

NY 8.16.2014