Seize

When unexpectedly
a window opens ever so slightly
so
I can
embrace the bars
real
or figments of my
imagination
fixed
and forever mutable
surrounding my soul,
my spirit lunges
forward
to see, to seize the freedom
that was always mine
and yours,
a freedom boundless
and infinite
in its joy and wisdom,
a freedom worthy of a
love supreme.

New York
July 31, 2015

I met a
woman
who’s name is
Free at Last

NY 9.7.2014

I don’t know if you
noticed
but I think there
is a crack
in my heart
I’ve tried so hard to
keep it
together
to not cave in
or let my guard
down
fear, forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to keep up
the barricades
just so I would
not feel
the pain
– my own,
or yours

I don’t know if you have
noticed
but I think there are
increasingly
cracks in the walls around
my heart
I’ve tried real hard to
keep it
together
keep the doors locked
the gates down
fear
forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to keep the walls
fierce and
proud
just so
I would not
see
the pain
– my own,
yours

I don’t know if you
noticed
but I think the walls
have started to  tilt
I’ve tried terribly hard to
keep it
together
my sense of self
fear
forever my
counselor
whispering in my
ear
to hold on
just a little longer
to not surrender
ever
so I
would not have to
so I will not
feel
immersed
in an instant
eternal
connection
with you
with all that is

so I would not
come home to
infinite
love
for you, for self
for all that is

NY 8.16.2014

From the steeple

just yesterday I found myself
thinking again
of this emptyless Emptiness
eating away at my soul
petrifying my heart
in the end, what’s to be lived
but an endless death
if not moment after moment
we meet in what is essentially Your breath?

just yesterday I found myself
thinking again
thinking – again!
does it ever cease to please
myself, lost in thought –
where is God in it all?
mind you
explain the sadness

just yesterday I found myself
bound by shackles of shame
failing to reach,
falling
beneath the sea
green rust copper weeds
blackened fruit, lost seeds
God, to be free!

and on this day I’ll find myself
wanting to dissolve
wanting to dissolve the iron
bars of assumed identity
– the irony of it all!
exhausted from your journey
you will give up, gladly
the confines of your mistaken identity

And on that day I found myself
found my Self
in a brilliant sky
clarions resounding confidently
from the steeple

NY April 2000

[Text for bass soloist, written for the composition for large SATB chorus, bass soloist, piano and soprano saxophone, commissioned by Holy Apostles Community Chorus and performed in 2000, “Song of Praise”]

It’s not easy
living like a
god
loving self
no matter
what

I kneel and pray
and still
I
sway
I want to join
hands

Are you in?

NY 2013

O behold!
radiant gem
inverted prism
kaleidoscope
of unheralded magnificent beauty
eyes and ears of
unknown realms!
Each of us
a perfect aperture
light shining thru
stained glass
mosaic
adding its own unique
vibration
hues.

With every death we die,
with every moment
we
let go
of what is not now
of what we can’t hold
of what is not us
we clean our
glass
our window
more clear
more pure
more radiant
– light shining
its full radiating
brilliance,
we hear our true
self
humming along
humming birds
humming
in
the great celestial choir,
symphony of
all Beings in
eternity

NY 4.11.13

Songs of Remembrance
for alto, soprano and 2 percussionists
(text 1)