Deep Waters, Rejoice 1992 – post-script

 

” Absolve thyself in the great sea of the waters of Life. Dive deep in it, until thou has lost thyself. And having lost thyself, thou shalt find thyself again and be one with Me. Then shall the glory of Myself, which is thy true self, be mirrored in thee.”

Source unknown

 

Post-script to the title composition I wrote for 6 performers in 1992

Boethius on Beauty

” Beauty manifests itself as an equilibrium in which there is a harmony of stability and movement, identity and variety, the massive and the light, the low and the high, the equal and the unequal, the one and the many.”

Boethius, 6th century

Fear

 

An ode to you
oh Beast!
What are you?
You seem so powerful,
all pervasive, ruthless, yes merciless, indiscriminate, indiscreet and secretive all at once.
.
Who are you?
You who holds reign with the worst of
dictators and tyrants,
on par with
molesters and torturers,
your kingdom far outstrips all the
fiefdoms and nations combined
as your pincher claws
reach,
clench and
grope
across the globe.
You turn people’s lives upside
down,
hold them in a
chokehold,
and lock them in a chamber without
windows,
no air to breath,
in darkness ,
a stench of waste and things
rotten
and decayed,
a dungeon, a prison for life, nothing short of
hell
as we imagine it,
.
you make people do things in
desperation,
you make our bodies reek,
a pungent
odor of
lives
lived in the
shadows.
.
you stare us down, immobilize us, threaten us, squeeze the life out of us, all in the name of
protection and
self preservation.
you make us
thicken our armor, raise our shields, sharpen our weapons, and fortify
our bunkers.
.
you make us walk
the plank
rather than even consider
the alternative
.
And yet,
you are nothing.
.
Nothing but an empty shell –
lifeless,
if it wasn’t for us
feeding you
.
O hungry Beast,
feeding you,
endlessly,
a constant stream of
guilt, self hatred,
self annihilation,
doubt, second guessing,
spite…..
.
The table is set in full galore and with
incredible riches
day after day
because we won’t quit on you
loyal slaves
.
And yet,
you are nothing.
.
You are nothing
but the projection of our
ongoing resistance
to life,
to love,
to being one
with One.
.
Your power is only
because
you serve a secret
agenda;
OUR secret agenda:
to stay separate, claim
our “otherness”, claim
our superiority,
our independence.
To not surrender to life.
To not surrender to Love.
.
mythical stories of the Fall. Lucifer. Adam and Eve.
the fated
bite
in the apple
.
Sadly
we have been portrayed as
sinners.
Our so called ‘fall from grace’.
But the story, the “truth” is so much more interesting than that.
.
How could we be in the realm of
Love
if we even didn’t
know it,
were not aware
of it?
How could we truly participate in this
Feast of Love
if we merely obeyed orders of a (dictatorial)
Higher Power?
Fell in line
without question,
without doubt,
without hesitation
and yes
perhaps resistance, even
resentment?
Without
putting up a fight,
worthy of what is at stake:
total bliss?
.
Overnight Faust and Satan and
a long line
of exotic
masked demons,
beasts and half gods
stop
being the villains
we can project our resistance on,
and merely have become
facilitators,
props
in this
eternal dance
we
dance.
.
The only way,
ultimately,
is
for each and all of us
to make a
choice:
.
come Home,
or stay out a
little longer.
.
.
.
** On an aside: this is where math, signage and language diverge.
Zero or “Nothing” is the only way to graphically express something that paradoxically holds “everything” – picture the round circle, the Omega -;
One, expressed as the number “1”, suggests the quality of distinct individuality but does a poor job of communicating the sense of  “being one”, being connected, joined, without apparent separation.

 

Doorways I

Doorways…. a fascinating symbol of transition and transformation – a passageway, like a pass in the mountains. Standing in the doorway…. perhaps we look back on what lies behind us….. it’s the moment where we have to decide, have to commit to that leap of faith into the new, into the unknown.

Art for me is intricately related to what happens when we step into the doorway. Because art is all about life, and life to me is all about what happens on our journey to the next doorway.

[This Doorway page right here will soon become a portal to another website in progress that is specifically relegated to matters of a more esoteric and mystical nature. If you feel so called upon, or are just curious, step into this Doorway for a little preview. Unlike many doorways in life, this one you can stroll through casually, back and forth as you please!]

I have noticed that some of my favorite artists have a fascination with doorways. De Kooning is one who employed ‘random’ images of doorways shimmering between layers of paint. For some it invokes the idea of ‘having a way out’. For some it would be more like a way ‘in’.

Just before I wrote about stepping into “the doorway”. Maybe “a doorway” is more appropriate. Maybe there are many doorways. Maybe each moment holds fur us an infinite amount of doorways, an infinite amount of directions – just as an infinite amount of lines radiate out from a single point. Mathematics and Geometry have a way of zooming in and out of sacred space.

Dervish – the spinning wise men of the amazing Sufi tradition … the mystical arm of the Islam that hosts legendary people like the great poet Rumi and other illuminates…
It’s been said the word ‘der’ means ‘door’….. spinning in the doorway to the beyond…

 

(to be continued)

image

Approaching the familiar through the unfamiliar

image 

Approaching the familiar through the unfamiliar.

It always stuck with me how a saxophone player described gaining a whole new perspective on saxophone playing by doing an in-depth study of trumpet players.

By stepping into the unfamiliar, and necessarily translating back into the ‘familiar’, we are required to invent a new language of our own – new words, new colors, new imagery, new tools.

Nothing more instructive than dwelling in a foreign country for a while.
Or camping out in the wilderness.

Because of this, I love to explore that unfamiliar terrain in the arts. Stepping out….One of such explorations takes place when we ‘step out’ from one art form into another. Creating music perhaps, but thinking of creating a poem. The language of poetry becomes the overriding principle, and all music ‘rules’ and history have to cede to that. In effect, all music rules have been suspended and replaced only by concerns of poetic language. New music ‘rules’ might have to be invented, or adapted.
There are endless excursions we can make like that, mixing up two or more art forms:
Listen to a free improvisation, structured – or freely composed -,  partly as a poem, partly as a painting, partly as an architectural sculpture.
We might see a still… a moment in black and white, light evoking silence.
…Hear a poem, thrusts of meaning singing off the page, slowly filling the empty space between our beacons of known meaning.

130324-001

(to be continued)

The Path of Love (not Fear)

The Path of Love  (not Fear)
or the under-appreciated practice of dying a little bit every day

It has been said:
of my own I am nothing.
.
(Don’t be afraid to die)
.
Imagine!
to die our sense of self
into that bleak void,
that Big Nothing.
……………………..
.
Don’t be afraid to die.
.
.
Don’t be afraid to die.
I mean now, today, and again tomorrow. Die a thousand deaths. Don’t worry: our true self is indestructible. What dies over and again is our ego, everything we cling to, our fears, our mistaken identities, our hopes, our regrets.
With every death we die we free ourselves up, we shed another layer, like a snake
sheds an old skin.
Another step closer to our radiant self.
.
Don’t be afraid to die.
(even if I am,
still,
at times,
again)
.
.
Let go
Let go of what we’re not.
Our jobs, our mortgage
If we were right
If we got it right
If we’re good enough –
there is no such thing
.
Except for in our mind.
That inner voice
Rattling on
Interrupting our peace
ego? id?
old voices that
slipped in
unnoticed
maybe when we were young
maybe yesterday
so insistently
they ring true
.
Be a farmer
weed your garden
plot by plot
so you can see it
holds flowers
as far as you can see
.
(Don’t be afraid to die)
.
Immerse your vessel
let it go
under
and be lost
Lost, and with loss,
scary leap
of faith,
that
is our doorway
into a realm
still familiar to newborns
and Fools,
 – but we
deepdown, secretly,
remember
and
hold it
in our heart
ashamed, stricken and
grieving
that fated separation
eons ago
.
Don’t be afraid to die.
.
Have your vessel filled
overflowing
submerged
till
your heart runs over
with the love
that we were
created from
the love
that is our
breath
the love
that runs through every
vein
the love
that holds every nano cell of our core
and every distant
galaxy we
have not found yet
.
(Don’t be afraid to die)
.
call it God
call it Nothing
call it Everything
call it anything under the sun
There are a thousand names to
try to pinpoint the Unspeakable
it really doesn’t matter
Certainly not to the One
.
.
NY 4.2.2013